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I am a married woman with children out of the home now developing my own interests, hobbies making my way through the heat of the experiences and days of my life. (Click on pictures to enlarge.)


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Years Resolutions.

I have not made any for a few years because I don't keep them. I also don't want to be making resolutions such as losing the weight I have to lose this year, or getting healthy. I am relatively healthy and I know I do have to lose weight but I don't want to sabatoge myself by making a resolution about it. It just does not seem like the right reason to accomplish such a personal goal.
But there are things I do desire and I know I am going to be the only one who would be able to make myself desire them enough to actually work to achieve them. So the dilemna is do I make some resolutions and really apply myself to making them come true or do I not.

If I was to make some resolutions that I really want to happen in my life then they would be:
1) To find the son I miss so much. Oh, I know where he is and what he is doing and I talk to him but there are issues and he does know about those issues but chooses not to deal with them. So can I look past those issues and just accept my son for who he seems to be now or am I still going to grieve every day for that loss? Do I get to know and accept the man he is today or do I pine for the lost son I used to know and I know is still buried deep within him? God, I miss my boy.
2) I want and need to be debt free. Whether that will happen this year or next it has to happen. I know for sure I will not increase the debt I already carry. I cannot carry anymore.
3) Finally end my car accident case. It has been over a year and I just want the whole thing to end. Court is next month and there seems to be an end in sight. My body will never be the same, with its aches and pains and permanent stuff but my mind needs to bid it all goodbye and move on.
4) I got the first book of the Twilight series so I will have them all read by the end of the year.

And now because most likely if I make any resolutions I will end up doing the exact opposite of what I have resolved to do, so in that case maybe I should resolve to do:
1) Gain fifty pounds this year.
2) Eat any and all junk food my mind desires.
3) Spend a ton of money frivalously.
If I break these it won't be so bad. Maybe the opposite will happen and I will eat healthy, save money and lose the weight.
Can't be too bad can it??


dlyn said...

You know, the one about your son just made me tear up - I remember a few years ago when he was on my prayer list for awhile because of some circumstances you were going through with him. Praying things can be better between the two of you this year. {{{MsD}}}

msdewberry said...

Thank you. My son is my biggest heartache and my biggest sorrow. So much history there, can't go into it here but it does hurt my heart. Thank you for your prayers.